Running against anxiety and depression.

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I along with some 40 million other adults in the U.S. Suffer from anxiety and depression. (Source: National Institute of Mental Health)  It’s a debilitating illness that has no easy answers or solutions. Just a constant battle in which I at times feel I am either winning or losing. But whether I happen to be on one side of the spectrum or the other or somewhere in between I know it’s ever flowing and changing. When I’m doing well, feeling generally good, you know a happy person, I tend to forget that this stasis is only temporary. Sooner or later it will start to go the other direction. And when I am at the other end, suffering a severe bout of the illness it feels like it’s going on forever. Over the years with the help of others I’ve developed coping mechanisms that I try to employ and help me along these turbulent seas. About six years ago I realized exercise was quite beneficial. It helped lesson the depressive episodes, made anxiety a bit less severe and in general helped me cope better. I soon turned to running regularly as this was my favorite form of exercise. Doing something I enjoy helps make it more likely that I’ll stick to it at a regular basis for the long term and thus be beneficial to my well being.
But today I struggle. I struggle to get myself outside for a run. In fact it’s the third day I haven’t run or done some excercise and during the last two weeks I’ve not been very consistent. I currently find myself in a place where my mental illness is getting the better of me and this makes everything in life more challenging. Work, family, daily chores and tasks and even going out for a normally pleasurable run all become more difficult to accomplish and deal with. This includes doing things to help myself through this current upsurge in depression and anxiety. So here I sit wanting to be better but feeling helpless in doing anything about it. I share this with you because the majority of the population does not suffer from this mental illness and yet some 18% of you out there are in the same boat as I. So to that 18% of you I say if you are in a bad state right now please hang in there and cut yourself some slack. You are not alone and you can get out to the other side in time. To a place where you are not feeling so overwhelmed and where life becomes more tolerable and even pleasant again. For those of you who don’t fight this illness please be considerate to those who do. It’s a hard illness to comprehend if you yourself don’t suffer with it. It’s important to give support to those that do. Even if you think you don’t know anyone who suffers this mental illness in reality you probably do and definitely come in contact with them. To put it into a runners perspective in Western States there are 369 participants in that  100 mile race. This means some 66 of those runners suffer from anxiety and depression. So in all likelyhood you’d be rubbing shoulders with, pass or are being passed at some point with a runner with anxiety and depression. So many of us suffer and it needs to become more visible and accepted by the general public.  Too many of us suffer in silence and that needs to change.  Although I really don’t want to I feel myself needing to go for a run.  See you on the trail.

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